Life, as I never saw it.

I’ve always been a very happy go lucky person taking each day as it comes. But one incident changed it all.

It made me realize that life is not exactly one happy picture as I imagined it to be.

1st of December 2008, was the day my grandmother or ‘nani’ as I would call her was admitted to the hospital because of a major respiratory congestion that could not be treated at home. Five days after her stay in the hospital her health deteriorated and she was shifted to the ITU or the Intensive Care Unit. She was immediately put on the ventilator. She had a rice tube for nourishment, a tube on her neck, one going through her nose and countless no of channels on her slender white hands.

I was left speechless when I saw her in this condition .She looked so pale. Days passed and we would wait for her to open her eyes or move her hand so as to show an indication of her improvement. She remained unconscious for a long time and the days she opened her eyes we were overjoyed. Not knowing how short lived it was. Nani never recovered but slowly left this world.

The last time I touched her feet before she was cremated was a very emotional time for me. I knew this was the last time I could see her. Tears were uncontrollable. I wanted to just hold on to her and keep her with me for life but I knew I couldn’t. Seeing death at such close quarters was

a first for me and I must not lie about being brave. I was scared, scared beyond words could say. We always give so much of importance to material things that we forget about the people who really care for us. Nani, wherever you are, I want you to know that you are greatly missed and I owe everything that I am to you. You made my world, you were my world.

There comes a point in Life..

There comes a point in life when one has so many unanswered questions..

A point where ones mind is actively inactive.

A point where one person matters so much that one dosn't really bother about anything else..

A point where Success means everything.

A point when friends are few and enemies rare.

A point where one feels a vacuum within.

It's then that one feels totally helpless but it is within this, where lies the answer to our questions.

An answer to grow up, an answer to appreciate whats around instead of regretting ones follies and above all to love the people who are now a part of our life instead of crying over split milk and missing people, opportunities that never really were made for us ..

Take each day as it comes..

Make your life matter..! You get one life.. Make it worthwhile.. !

Time to sail some Boats..!

As i write this blog i have gentle drops of rain hitting on my window pane.

Yes my dear friends it's that time of the year again when the Rain Gods decide to bring it on..! I mean the rain of course! :)

I personally love this time of the year.. Nothing like having  a hot cup of coffee sitting by d window n admiring the weather..!

I love going for drives on this weather. Just went to the highway the other day with a friend of mine n i just loved it..!

The music was soft, the tiny droplets of rain touched our faces and this was definitely one of the best feeling's ever!.. Do i sound a lil romantic?.. ha ha.. ;)

On the streets u see the most bizarre of lovers using their poor prop the fantastic umbrella in the most weirdest of ways ! What goes inside the umbrella is something i'm sure you all can guess..

I don't blame them, The weather is such.. It can make the most boring man ever, a romantic!.. Ask me about it!.. :)

This is the time when we smile for no reason, we relate events, people and smile some more.. :)

We all have some memory or the other associated with the rains. I remember how as i young kid (not that i'm old now! I'm still Young! ) i would sail paper boats, go to the terrace with friends and get wet and afterwards get a shouting for wetting the whole house! :)

This weather is truly intoxicating and takes one to a world of it's own..

 Just incase u havn't had this feeling.. Go out stretch your hands and welcome the rains and you'll know exactly what is this feeling i'm talking about!..

Till then.. Au Revoir! :)

Confusion Unlimited..!

There comes a point in every person's life when you feel things aren't going right..

Things don't go the way you want them to and all seems loss..

That's when confusion creeps into your mind..

As this very moment my friend.. I am exactly in that frame of mind.

I'm confused as to where i'm going, is love temporary and if i'l ever do things i've dreamed off..

But if there's one thing that's comforting it's hope..

So i hope and hope.. 

Memories Galore..!

3rd of June.. That's when Prerna and Deblina 2 of my best friends landed at the Silchar airport.

They were welcomed by the sweet showers of rain sent from above and the lush green trees everywhere. It seemed as if this truly was 'God's own Country'..!

They would be spending 5 days with me and my family in Dad's tea garden Chandighat Tea Estate. Little did we know that these 5 days would give us memories that would last a lifetime, probably even more..

We 'three musketeers' or as Prerna says 'The Dil Chahta Hai Gang' had a blast in the true sense of the word..!

Right from attending parties, coming home late, dancing on the stupidest no's, doing the weirdest steps, laughing at absolutely nothing.. We've done it all in these 5 days!..

I still remember how we sat at the orchard and posed for snaps on trees, under the sun, standing on the bench etc.. 

When in school we were different individuals, now in college we are more open and can talk to each other about anything under the sun. We cudn't be more happier and satisfied..

We are now independent women, knowing the right things and of course doing them all RIGHT!..

Prerna and Deblina this is an ode to all we've had and done in those 5 days and to all that we will do in the years to come.. 

If there is one thing i'd like to tell u both it's just two words Thank You!..

Thank you for being such wonderful human beings and above all GREAT friends..! 

Love Misunderstood.

'When I come crashing down,

When I take a look around,

You're all i see, You're all I need'.. 

Words of a famous song that are doing the rounds today..

While i listen to the song mind you i still have the tune of the song and the passionate lover singing in my mind..

I find this song very Idealist..

I mean which lover in todays world would say this.. There are a few exceptions though..

The meaning of love however, is not the same today..

Gone are the days when you would see lovers hugging, kissing, holding hands etc..

Todays kind of love is more mature..  

No wonder the likes of Cafe Coffee Days r doing so well.. Before lovers would meet in parks.. No one can even think of meeting there now..

People rather party and drink than sit and enjoy solace together, look into each other's eyes or melt in each other's arms..

Love today is materialistic n with 'no strings attached'.. Like one gentleman once told me..

Love today is 'unspoken yet understood'.. 

I think the whole definition of love has undergone a radical change today..

We all have different ways of expressing our love and agreed that love is a universal language but my question is Where is the love?

Is there Love?.. 

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Ever looked at a coin?.. I'm sure u have.. Seeing the way people are spending money these days i'm sure u look at a coin umpteen no of times in a day..

Bt this my friend is not my topic for discussion.. ;)

Like a coin having two sides, people too have dual personalities.. One which the world looks at and one which is hidden from the world..

I've often seen people being so good to each other in the eyes of others and talking behind their backs the very instance the person goes away..

I know people who will do anything to look good in the eyes of others or to be extra nice if they know there is some material gain behind it..

Friends today will be foes tomorrow..

There are very few people who actually stand by you in your bad times.. I'm blessed 2 have these 'few' people in my life..

These people being my friends, each and everyone of whom is so dear to me n ALWAYS! will be..

They've been themselves with me, told me that black is not always black and white is not always white! and most importantly been there for me..

There are two friends that require a special mention here.. One being my best friend from 9 years Prerna and my other best friend being Indrila..

Prerna has always shown me the right way even though she is half my height this girl has brains! :)

Indrila in her own way has always been there for me, egged me on to go do things and achieve them..

In my own special way i'd like to tell you a very big Thank You!.. 

These are things friends are made of.. 

It's not always about the times one shares or the talks one has. It's all about being there..!

Ambiguity of Memories..

Memories indeed are very ambiguous in nature.

They make you smile when you remember the good times u've had and at the same time bring

tears when u realize that those moments will never come back again. 

I've often wondered if i could just relive some of those moments again, If all those very special

people could all just jump out of those photographs and be with me again.

Alas! as they say if wishes would be horses, beggars would be riders. 

The JOYS of being Tall.. :)

5 feet 10 inches thats exactly how tall i stand..

Fortunately or unfortunately.

Being tall has it's pro's and cons..

When i was in school i was always visible on stage during assembly by teacher's and evn if i'd smile i'd be seen..

I was made 2 stand on the stage once facing the whole school in assembly jus because i was laughing my lungs out!

Not fair! Those shorty's wr laughing too!.. N all this just because i'm visible because of my height n those aren't cuz of their lack of height..

My mom and dad never had problems finding me if i evr got lost in d crowd.. My head would always be popping out.. :)

The teacher's in school would 'look up' to me and talk and i looked down.. This was kinda weird bt well what can i say.

What i find most weird is short men making passes.. 

It's the most stupidest thing they can do. 

Can't they just find people their height n spare me!

Jesus! Men are a weird species.. 

A friend of mine refused to take a picture with me cause i am taller to him.. This was definitely d weirdest reason ever..

However, being tall is great fun..

I can intimidate people which i do often..

People can't take me for a ride and i just love all the attention i get..

I'm nt arrogant, i jus state facts.. If one is short one should accept it and just pray that one fine day a miracle hapns n they becm as tall as me!..

Just Kiddin..

Be happy with ur height and just incase u feel the lack of it just come and stand next to me.. :)


 

The four letter word we call LIFE..

I've often wondered as to how can one define Life..

Here I am making my humble attempt.

Life for me is alot of things..

The first thing that comes to my mind when i think of the word life is 'experience', 'success', 'failure' and the ability to 'fight back'.

Life has different stages which we all go through. Sometimes it gives us smiles, sometimes it gives us tears and sometimes it gives us things which we would have never in our wildest dreams thought of.

Life gives us dreams, hope, and the power to believe that even if we fall it's not the end of the world we get up and get at it again!

Friends are the biggest joys that life gives us. I've had friends who've been with with me through thick and thin and yet others who were lost mid way.

I've met people who have transformed my thinking and inspired me to be who i am today n do what i think is right and not go with d flow.

These people have meant so much to me and always will.

Life in one way can be called a paradox.

Friends today will be foes tomorrow, The very people who praise you will talk behind your back and the person you trust the most will inevitably betray your trust.

Life indeed despite it's pit falls is the best teacher. Most of us are self taught through the experiences we encounter in life.

Life moulds us into better individuals and keeps us going..

To end i would like to tell each and every one of those who have had the patience and time to

read my blog that : One should always believe in one's

self, not get carried away by what people say

cause in the end Life is not wat others think it to be but what one makes of it!.

Make ur life worthwhile and never regret anything you ever did.

The sky definitely is not d limit!.

Voices of a Broken Heart.

It seems like yesterday when we were together..

Sharing smiles, exchanging silent glances and saying things that made no sense at all n yet we laughed at those.

I remember how eagerly i would wait to meet you and giggle like a young 16 year old on seeing u.

Your likes became my likes and your dislikes my dislikes. The colour red never appealed more.
Infact, it meant so much more now..

Little things that you would say and those little gestures that you would do totally made my day, my world. U were my world.

But Alas! good things always come to an end and so did this.
We parted ways. The hand once held so tight now left so loose, d smile that nothing could beat burst into tears and the time that i once spent with you became a mere memory..

It's so easy 4 people 2 turn d present into the past, play with one's emotions and then never look back.

I don't blame u. I guess somethings are never meant to be and never will be.

And i've moved on and on and on.